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 Jake Duriel [wip]

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Jake Duriel


Posts : 10
Join date : 2011-05-20

PostSubject: Jake Duriel [wip]   Sun May 22, 2011 6:30 pm

How will people know you in this world?

Name: Jake Duriel
Age: 15
Gender: Male

Image is everything...Isnt it?

Height and weight:
Hair and eye color: Messy brown hair, brown eyes.
Appearance: Jake is kind of tall at 6'1, but seems to be yards higher than that. He almost towers over others, seeming maybe mean and aggressive. Yet, this conflicts with his personality. At most times, he's actually a gentle giant. He is fairly muscular, but not totally ripped like a body builder (he finds those super-ripped people to be just jerks and stupid). He has longer arms and hands than the normal person.

Jake has messy (he's too lazy to comb it; he's got other stuff to do besides care about it), dark brown hair that seems to shine, even at night. He seems to have a strange abnormality in which his eye colors change, although most don't notice it. He slouches a little bit, thinking people who stand up totally straight to be to uptight. Jake wears a black hoodie, blue jeans, and a white shirt with green sneakers, as this is what he was wearing during his death.

How strong is your resolve?

Personality:Jake will treat you like an old friend when you meet him. He's happy most of time, a joking person. Jake feels emotions intensely. If he's gonna be sad, he's gonna baww his eyes out. If he's hyped up, well, he's gonna go crazy. He's chummy, and will not only treat you like an old friend when he meets you, but will also trust you with his life when he knows you. He hates people that kill other, innocent people. At this time, he becomes a bloodthirsty beast, and will avenge their deaths at all costs. It doesn't matter who they are, or if he shouldn't be meddling with them- they're dead.

Jake has a good sense of humor. He can take most things he sees and make a joke out of them, no matter how serious (although when stuff is really serious, he shuts up). In his head at his school, he came up with at least 20 insults for everyone that made fun of them. When he saw them, he would snicker, thinking of one of them and seeing it truly in them. He remembers this one person who called him a fat-ass, when he was tens of kilos overweight. People called him a nerd, as they giggled about one kid who couldn't get into the advanced class. Even the kid they made fun of made fun of Jake, and Jake had a retort for that as well. In his school, in his free time because he didn't have friends, he thought of jokes to make people laugh when he got out of there. But, unfortunately, this never happened


  • Fierce Determination- When Jake sets his mind to something, he will never give up, no matter what happens.
  • Overall Cheerfulness- Jake, most of the time, is usually happy and talkative.
  • Large Pain Tolerance- Even though beaten down and in much pain, Jake can still take more hits coming towards him.
  • Fending for himself- Jake, used to being alone for most of his life, has learned how to fight and fend in general, for himself.


  • Tries too hard- When Jake dedicates himself to something, he'll try probably too hard at it, and this may end up hurting him in the long run.
  • Slips of the Tounge- Jake, when cheerful and talking too much, he may reveal information he truly wasn't supposed to/didn't want to.
  • Will fight to the death- If one of his friends or loved ones will be killed unless he doesn't fight, he will give up his life for them fighting.
  • Cannot suffer fools easily- Jake cannot suffer fools easily- if you're stupid, most likely he'll walk away from you or just ignore you.

With every past there is a future

It wasn't easy coming into this world for Jake Duriel.

In fact, it was crazy.

A bus Rhonda Duriel and Donald Duriel. living in New York City at the time, were taking to the hospital the night before Jake was scheduled to be born (public transit was all they could afford- they were a poor family and had been saving thousands for the hospital fees of giving birth to Jake) had been stopped and held up by a group of local gangsters. And to make things even better, Rhonda's water broke. Luckily, there had been a doctor- however, he had never given live birth before. So let's just leave it at, well,Jake didn't come out so well. About 15 minutes later, however, the police came and liberated the bus, and the family was rushed to the hospital.

Early Life
The fact of life was, Rhonda and Donald were abusive parents.

Well, not physically- they didn't want to break any laws, but mentally instead. Throughout Jake's life, he was screamed at for everything, going from his health and hygiene, to his grades, even the way he sat at the dinner table (if they had dinner- they were still a poor family, of course). However, even though through the harshness, they still loved Jake, even if they didn't show it.But, Jake trudged on with his life, getting pretty good grades in school, but being introverted besides that, spending most of his time on a bench by himself at school, alone. But when Jake hit 7th Grade and was about 13, there was a turning point in his life. One day, when he got back from school and his parents weren't home, he saw two airplane tickets for adults to a place in Japan. Jake then, rashly, assumed that his parents were abandoning him, probably to drop the economic weight of how much it cost to raise them. Then, Jake decided to do the thing that would lead him to his inevitable death- he took both tickets, and stole everything of value in the house- the laptop, his mother's jewels. He sold 1 of the tickets, and everything else except the laptop (it only cost 300 dollars anyways- and Jake would want to game on the way there). In the end, Jake had about 10000 USD, or 802000 Yen. And so, as Jake boarded the airplane, he slept and smiled, finally free from his "tormentors".

Jake was kind of adopted by a family in Japan, after wandering the streets for a couple days. They were a British couple who's children had all left their home, so they had moved, but still wanted to take care of a child. Jake went to school for a couple years, and got back in the motion of having good grades, having a few friends. However, on one rainy day, Jake, while going to school, took a "shortcut" with a couple of friends over a river, and ended up slipping and drowning, as the fall had rendered him unconscious. When he got out of the river, he saw this weird chain on his heart- and even weirder, he saw his body behind him, swept away by the river. It then dawned on Jake that he had died. Jake tried to talk to his adopted parents, but they couldn't see nor hear him. He now wanders Japan, wondering

Written sample:
Quote :

Hiroshi looked around himself silently, looking at all of the unaware humans below him.

Look at them. Most wouldn't be able to protect themselves if this world fell, most likely by spiritual beings. In fact, most wouldn't be able to see what would be their inevitable end. But Hiroshi held no pity for these people. Nor did he feel any pity for the Quincies, the somehow spiritually awakened humans, nor the Arrancar or the Shinigami. None of these peoples held any spot in Hiroshi's heart, and would awake even the slightest sign of sadness.

Hiroshi, done with watching the humans, began to walk down from mid-air, eventually landing on a building in which his Gigai was hidden on. Walking behind it, he quickly and efficiently slipped it on- he had become much better at it during the years of his exile. After getting into it, and stretching himself out a bit, he looked off the edge of the building. A fire escape ladder that went down into an alleyway. Satisfactory. Hiroshi jumped off the edge, landing roughly on the green balcony. He then kicked out the ladder, that extended down to the next balcony. Hiroshi, uncaring for the longer climb down, simply jumped again, landing not as roughly as before but still not quite gracefully. Doing this for the next four stories down, Hiroshi ended up on the ground. He looked around- the alleyway was deserted, except for a couple smelly trash cans.

Silently, Hiroshi walked out of the alley, tripping in a puddle of water and immediately stopping. In that brief moment, the puddle rose up, and he could see himself- his black eyepatch, sewn to his skin, a long, black overcoat, jeans and a white t-shirt under it, and black sneakers. His scruffy hair and pale black eyes. Almost as soon as it had happened, the puddle fell, and Hiroshi kept walking.

This whole time, Hiroshi had been looking for his younger sister, Hikari. She was his only light anywhere. He would willingly and happily die for her if the duty called. It had been a long time since they had last talked and met, as Hikari had been a Captain in the seretei, and it was... hard, to put it at the least, to communicate. But since that last talk, he had heard that Hikari had fled the Soul Society, but he did not know why. Which was the exact reason why he was here, looking for her.

But as Hiroshi exited that alleyway, her reiatsu signature grew much stronger. Even though he couldn't pick up signatures quite well yet, he could always tell of one- his younger sister's. He began to follow this scent, like a child follows the smell of an ice cream vendor (or so Hiroshi thought they did). After walking across Karakura Town, Hiroshi then realized his analogy was not an analogy, but true (except for the child part, of course). It was an ice cream store, named "Cool Sundae, Bro". Was that supposed to be a "joke" of some sort? Either way, Hiroshi did not get it. Passing a garden of spider lillies, he walked into the store- there were many people in seats, enjoying milkshakes, sundaes, and more, but the front desk was empty. This is where Hikari had to be. Going up to the front desk, he rang a bell that was on there, making a high pitched noise and alerting whoever was at the desk (hopefully his sister) to come and take his "order".

Last edited by Jake Duriel on Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:50 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Age : 23
Location : In ur hedz, messin up yur inteligenze

PostSubject: Re: Jake Duriel [wip]   Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:38 pm

Fifteen years old and six foot eleven? Sorry dude I dont think so. Not unless Jake has some serious illnesses. =/

Learned to drive at the age of ten, whut? o.O

Prospered for two years? How? Most fifteen year olds cant even boil an egg by themselves as sad as the truth is. Are there no other family members willing to go with him? o.o

This applications has a few holes in it that you should patch up as none of it is very realistic and in fact sounds a little gary-stue-ish.
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Jake Duriel


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Join date : 2011-05-20

PostSubject: Re: Jake Duriel [wip]   Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:52 pm

Should be less depressing-ing
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PostSubject: Re: Jake Duriel [wip]   Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:56 pm

It wasnt the fact that it was depressing but more of the fact that the character had suffered so much negative experiences next to no positive. In any case it's better now albiet a little patchwork-ish.

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